My gift to you

Dear eHarmonizers,

Since I’ve been a part of the eHarmony family for lo these long 10 days, I have a plethora of experience to share with my less-experienced brethren. Take it to heart and maybe you’ll find someone to take home.

1. Don’t tell me that your parents or grandparents are the most influential people in your life. Dude, that’s a gimme. When you tell me that your grandpa helped you become the man you are today, in my mind, you are the same man as the other 18 profiles in my inbox.

2. Read something besides Dan Brown. Seriously. Even Scott Turow and Michael Crichton are novel since every single guy says he just read Angels and Demons or The DaVinci Code. Make something else up if you have to – what are the chances of being called upon for an impromptu book report?

3. Your photos. A pic of some dude 40 feet away from the camera doesn’t give me a lot to work with. And that girl you literally tore out of the photo? I know she’s your ex who you will say was a total bitch. And if I asked her about you, she’d say you didn’t know how to use Photoshop and it put an irreparable chasm in your relationship.

I think that’s it for now. To recap: get influenced by some non-parental people. And pick up a book that doesn’t suck – maybe one on digital photography.

Cha Cha

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