So. Aliens invaded my body and I suggested that Mr. eHarmony and I meet for ice cream.
We did. He’s dreamy. And let me try a bite of his sundae. And got me a jacket from his car when I got cold. And is cute, cute, cute.
We talked on the phone tonight for two hours and 23 minutes.
And we’re going to go for a walk tomorrow night and then grab dinner.
And this is all setting up battle royale in my tiny little brain.
In one corner, we have the Eighth Grade Girl (EGG). She is quite the smitten kitten. Mr. eHarmony is cute, cute, cute, and gave her a bite of his sundae. EGG is pretty sure that she can just cancel her eHarmony membership right now because Mr. eHarmony is funny and smart and employed and cute, cute, cute.
In the other corner, we have the Bitter Old Bitch (BOB). She is pretty sure that Mr. eHarmony has several wives across the country. And herpes. She’s sure he has herpes and can’t wait to spread it around some more. BOB thinks that she should probably sue eHarmony now for setting her up with such a psycho killer.
Every time I think BOB is going to win, EGG smears on some strawberry Lip Smacker and BOB falters just a bit. And then BOB thinks about He Who Shall Not Be Named and gets just a teensy bit more bitter, which causes EGG to forget her hall pass … and it’s going to be a doozy of a fight.
Right now, I’m sort of hoping that EGG wins. After all, Bon Jovi has a new song out, and it’s been about 19 years since I pined away for a boy while listening to the boys from New Jersey. This could be fun.