Mr. Wonderful is one good-lookin’ dude. Seriously. He has a great smile and the kindest, most gorgeous soft brown eyes you’ve ever seen. You don’t even know!
For some strange reason, he’s decided that he trusts me implicitly (wha?) and I am now his barber. He has basically put his social and professional lives in my trembling, inexperienced beautician hands.
The last time I cut anybody’s hair, my then junior high-age brother thought it was really cool to have a shamelessly shitty haircut. And I was just the stylist.
Mr. Wonderful keeps his hair shorn very, very short – not clean-shaven, but the shortest setting on the clippers. The first time I cut his hair, it took me about half an hour. I was convinced that I would accidently slice his ear off. But now, I’ve embraced this new responsibility and love the tangible results of it all. I zoom across his scalp with joy and ease.
We end up with giant clumps of dark brown hair after the clippers and I have had a whee of a time together. Since he always takes off his shirt for a haircut, there’s always some sort of joke about his “hairy” back, which is always good for a laugh. But since we are either situated on his deck or in my garage, the mess is fine.
Yes, I cut my boyfriend’s hair in my garage. I am *this close* to opening a beauty parlor in my garage, just like half the ladies in my hometown. You can take the girl out of the small town, but you can’t take the small town out of the girl.
And the best part? After I cut his hair *in my garage,* I was able to use my very favorite item ever – my ShopVac. Since I bought my house 13 months ago, I’ve purchased paint and toilets and a dishwasher – but his is by far the best purchase I’ve ever made. Almost as good as the $140 Banana Republic flats that I got for $9.99.
At first, I started out ShopVac-ing the hair on the garage floor. And then I realized that Mr. Wonderful was covered in hair droppings … and about to walk through my entire house to get to the shower – shedding the entire way.
I ShopVac-ed Mr. Wonderful.
I did. And I’m not ashamed. It was wonderful. And I even managed to avoid giving him a hickey with the ShopVac’s superior suction power.
He laughed the whole time. “Oh my god! You cut my hair in your garage and now you’re ShopVac-ing me. You realize this means we’re totally white trash, right?”