I had a glorious realization last night.
I was driving to Mr. Wonderful’s house from the gym. I’d just bonded with a treadmill and done my time with some weights. I was bundled up against the cold and huddled down in my Honda.
And then it hit me.
I’ve had some achiness in my right breast as of late. It feels like my boob is too big and too lumpy. It’s just like last winter – I think I have more cysts. Shit.
But this wasn’t even the dramatic realization. The dramatic realization was that this happened last winter. The same time as this winter. The same time that’s always the most super stressful of super stressful times at Corporate Behemoth.
Son of a bitch. I have fibrocystic breast disease and it’s stress related.
The good news is that based on my experience last year, I know that I don’t have breast cancer and I’m not going to die. Worse case scenario, I could go for an ultrasound and a needle aspiration.
The other good news is that I have a concrete cause. Yes, I might be genetically predisposed to a lumpy ol’ rack, but the stress? The stress is completely within my control.
The bad news is that this means I actually need to take steps to control this stress.
But the other other good news is that now I have concrete proof that reducing stress isn’t a nice to have. It’s a necessity.
(As a side note, raise your hand if you’re sick of me talking about how stressed I am. Yeah, me too.)
I’m thinking this is beyond hot baths and the occasional glass of wine. This is a major lifestyle shift. This is meditation and acupuncture getting back with the yoga that saved my life and my sanity a few years ago. This isn’t a “Hey, let’s join the Y” -type of resolution. This is a “I can see this stress manifesting itself in my body in this way, and if I don’t change, it’s going to manifest itself in more and more destructive ways” -type shift.
Now the trouble is figuring out how to drive that shift.
There’s a Louise Hay book with my name on it at the library. Any other recommendations? Help me out and I’ll start blogging about stuff besides stress. Sounds like a pretty good trade, don’t you think?