I can’t believe I missed it.

National Sleep Awareness Week was March 3–9.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, the week’s festivities included an awards dinner titled “A Celebration of Sleep Leadership.”

What, exactly, is sleep leadership? Are sleep leaders people who sleep a whole lot? Or are they boring people who are skilled in putting others to sleep?

I love to sleep. Love it. If there was an Olympic sleep event, I would definitely try out – you know, to try to be a good sleep leader and act as a role model for young people. Like Mary Lou Retton … but a whole three inches taller.

I’ve always been a night owl, and my natural tendency is to wake up around 9-ish. Ok, 10 if we’re being honest. And I hate naps. Even as a baby, I never took naps.

Yeah, I’m surprised my mother allowed me to live to adulthood, too.

Anyway. Yesterday, I went to Easter Mass and then brunch with Mr. Wonderful’s family. There were egg hunts. And bloody marys. And a good time was had by all.

And then? I walked into my house at 3:20. I sat down my purse. And I immediately collapsed on my dog-hair-encrusted couch.

I woke up two hours later.

I called Mr. Wonderful. “You’re never going to buh-LIEVE what I did!”

I was right. He didn’t. My nap announcement was met with a hearty “Shutthefuckup!”

Maybe my subconscious knew that I had missed national Sleep Awareness Week and was trying to celebrate. You know, in my own, passed-out-after-vodka-in-the-middle-of-the-day sort of way.

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