God is trying to tell me something. Or rather, Dog is trying to tell me something.
And that something is “Clean up your shit!”
You see, I’m what I like to call a lateral organizer. This means that I prefer to organize my workspace laterally. Like, across. Like, across any workspace.
Considering that my desk is a tiny 1940s kitchen table (lurve it!), this means that I spread my shit all over the floor.
I come by this tendency honestly. My father is the most organized and neat man in the universe (He has a system for his closet that depends heavily upon what direction the shirts face. C’mon.). And the lateral organizing? He does it, too. His freakishly organized office typically has a row of manila file folders on the floor along one wall.
I’m not totally into the folder thing, so my piles are typically just piles of paper. I like to think of it as my Carpet Credenza. IKEA will be picking up this concept at any moment. It can be yours for just $199, but assembly is required.
Anyway. Geriatric Poodle has spent the better part of my freelancing marathon on my lap. Finally, I was just over it. I set him down. He wandered for maybe 30 seconds … and then peed alllllll over my office floor.
Me: No, no, no, honey!
Geriatric Poodle: Oh, hai! Did you know I drank 17 gallons of water today?
Miraculously, he didn’t hit the Carpet Credenza. Thank Dog. But I think it might be a sign.