When I first admitted that yes, yes I was seriously depressed and yes, yes I really did need some medical assistance, I left not one, not two, but three voicemails with the psychiatrist my counselor recommended.
Did I have OCD? No. I was depressed. Each phone call felt like running a marathon. But I was desperate. So I kept leaving messages.
Finally, this ditsy-sounding receptionist called me back. She was all, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize from your messages that you wanted me to call you back.”
Good thing I was depressed or I would have reached through the phone and strangled her. But instead I grunted. And then she said they had a cancellation the next day, so all was well.
But really, the best part is the outgoing voicemail message at the office. Since I left three messages, I pretty much have Ditsy Receptionist’s spiel memorized:
“Thank you for calling the office of Dr. Head and Dr. Shrink. Umm? Leave a message and someone will return your call. Umm? If you’re calling for a prescription refill, have the pharmacy fax a refill form to 555-1212. You must give three days’ notice. If this is an emergency, go to a hospital immediately! Umm? Have a nice day!”
Is it just me, or is telling someone in a psychiatric emergency to go to the hospital and then telling them to have a nice day just a little … Umm?