My dog is a turkey.

The Geriatric Poodle has stopped eating.

The holistic vet had him on canned pumpkin, ground hamburger, and a little dry fancypants dog food that cost a mere $24 for a seven-pound bag.

He has started turning his nose up at all of it.

I pulled out the big guns: tater tots.

Lil Fluff was into the tater tots for about a day and a half. And then? Forget it.

So then I got into green beans. He was excited about that … for about 12 hours. The boy just doesn’t want to eat.

So today, in the day-before-Thanksgiving rush, I battled the hoards of shoppers at the grocery store. I even had to wait for a parking spot. All this to buy … a can of gravy.

Yes, I let an entire grocery store full of people think that I am the type of person who serves canned gravy on Thanksgiving.

But it was worth it. Geriatric Poodle ate all the vittles covered in gravy.

He’s a smart dog. Maybe he’s just messing with me and seeing what he needs to do before I make him a steak every night.

Or maybe he’s stopped eating because he’s getting ready to make his transition. And I have to respect that.

Although I just want to scream, “Just fucking eat, already!”

Which is actually a great theme for Thanksgiving. So, in that spirit – enjoy your families and enjoy your homemade or canned gravy. I’m thankful for you all.

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