My dad had cataract surgery today. Thankfully, it went well. I talked to my folks tonight, and the call went sort of like this:
Cha Cha: So, you feeling ok?
Dad: Yeah. But the sunglasses they gave me to wear are pretty hideous. And I can’t even really see them.
Mom: Yeah, he’s got sort of a Darth Vader thing going on.
Dad: Yeah. I mean, you could wear these for Halloween and you’d be really scary. And you wouldn’t even need any other costume!
So, obviously, if the sense of style is intact, we are well on the road to recovery.
Later, I told them about Mr. Friend That I Now Have a Crush On.
Mom: Now, who is this again?
Cha Cha: Well, we used to work together …
Dad: So you know him pretty well?
Cha Cha: Yeah. And Alice looked up his police record, and he has no outstanding warrants.
Mom: I love Alice!
Dad: No outstanding warrants, huh? That’s great. That’s just really good news. And so when are you seeing each other again?
Cha Cha: Tomorrow or Friday.
Dad: Have fun. Really. This is just great. Just go have fun.
Mom: Yes. You can have fun because he doesn’t have any outstanding warrants. That’s such good news.
Cha Cha: It’s weird, though … we know each other really well. And I’m just a little amazed that he knows me really well and appears to be attracted to me anyway.
[giant eruption of laughter]
Mom: CHA CHA!
Dad: Well, of course! You’re pretty great.
Mom: Have you talked to Poochie since Monday?
[discussion of Poochie’s recent heartbreak]
Cha Cha: I’m so glad you guys were able to spend some time with Poochie. Because I don’t think that me saying that I want to hurt that girl was really helping him.
Mom: Yeah, he said this weekend, just out of the blue, ‘Yeah, Cha Cha wants to kill her.’ And I said, ‘Really? Because last time Cha Cha and I talked, she just said she wanted to hurt her.’
Cha Cha: Well, you know me and my violent tendencies.
Mom: Well, yes.
Cha Cha: And during my recent break-up, the one thing that stayed with me and made me laugh was Dad saying that if Mr. Wonderful showed up on your porch, he’d clock him in the mouth.
Dad: Actually, I prefer to say that I’d have one of my associates pay him a visit.
Mom: Mmm. That is much more effective. And cleaner.
Dad: Well, I have people, you know?
And … scene!