Lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Last night, it was Sabrina and a Cadbury creme egg. Tonight? Skittles and … a made-for Hallmark-TV movie starring … Jaclyn Smith.

Except! Except a good-looking guy just came on the scene, and a quick imdb.com search shows that it’s none other than C. Thomas Howell.

Work with me. I’m trying to pretend C. Thomas makes my watching the Hallmark channel a little less lame.

But really? It’s lame. Laaaaaaame. Especially since I started watching The Jaclyn Show because I was watching The Golden Girls before that. Again, on the Hallmark channel.

I’m scared.

Yeah, I’m scared of accidentally turning 70 when I’m not paying attention. But mostly? Mostly I’m scared of … everything.

Online dating is scary. Meeting new people is scary. Opening myself up means setting myself up for rejection. I’m scared of not being good enough. Of not being whatever enough.

And I’m scared of being invisible.

I got called Dorothy at Corporate Behemoth today. In a fit of inspired passive aggression, I wrote on my wipe board:

Hello! My name is … Cha Cha

Number of times I’ve been called Dorothy since 4/15/09: I
Number of times I’ve been called Zsa Zsa since 4/15/09: I

At least Jaclyn never calls me by the wrong name. She loves me just the way I am!

And, I swear I’m sober. I’m just tired. Really, really tired.

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