I should run for school board.

Today I was behind a minivan with a bumper sticker that proclaimed, “Proud Parent of a TRAIL RIDGE MIDDLE SCHOOL Honor Student.”

Except that the sticker was wrinkled, so upon first glance it looked like the honor student in question attended Thai Ridge Middle School.

Which got me to thinking – what the hell sort of name is Trail Ridge, anyway? And why are all of our schools named like craptastic subdivisions? Trail Ridge, Prairie View, Wood Crest? Seriously?

I like Thai Ridge Middle School because it makes me think they serve totally yummy lunches, and Friday is curry day. But really? I think all middle schools should have names more appropriate to the experiences they house. Sort of a truth in advertising thing.

Perhaps:

  • Everyone Is Cooler Than You Middle School
  • I Hate My Life Middle School
  • The Longest Three Years of Your Life Middle School
  • Like Waterboarding But Worse Middle School
  • This Isn’t Like Saved By The Bell Middle School
  • My Mom Said This Zit Wasn’t That Noticeable Middle School

Other suggestions?

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