The world’s dullest post. Ever. I’m not kidding.

Thank God / Allah / Oprah that this is a short week. Seriously.

Already, bidness has gone down at Corporate Behemoth. I scratched the crap out of my cornea whilst removing a contact that was evidently trimmed in glass shards. No magical gnomes have arrived to vacuum the dog hair that covers every surface of my home. And then there was the tiny bidness of Creepy Stalker Guy having the nerve to attend my church.

And I’m preparing for a holiday weekend that features no large bodies of water. The up side? No bikini line maintenance. The down side? No water. No swimming. No boating. No Foxie Doxie in a life vest … which we left at the lake home of The Ex-Boyfriend Formerly Known as Mr. Wonderful’s parents, anyway.

So, here’s to a three-day weekend that’s preventing me from disappearing and telling everyone that I’m hiking the Appalachian Trail. Because, really? Who would believe that?

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