Dad: So, I see you’ve been quoting me in your blog again.
Dad: You know you can’t just get away with that because I read your blog.
Me: I know, I know – but I can’t think about White Christmas without thinking of how much you hate Rosemary Clooney’s character! You calling her a bitch is what Christmas means to me!Dad: Well, it’s true. She’s awful!
Dad: You can’t tell me that if they made a sequel to White Christmas that she and Bing Crosby wouldn’t be divorced. They’d be divorced and the whole movie would be people telling Bing what a bitch his ex-wife was.
Me: So, another holiday film?
Dad: Right. You can’t tell me that he could put up with her. They’d totally be divorced. That’s why they never made a sequel to that movie.
And … scene!
My dad’s a smart guy, and he’s got a point. But it got me to thinking … what would happen in other holiday movies if they made sequels? Would Cindy Lou Who become a militant vegan who lectured the Whos on the evils of roast beast and who horrified her parents by piercing every bit of skin on her body?
What ever happened to Old Man Potter? Did he ever die, or was he involved in the Madoff scandal?
And Tiny Tim – did he inherit all of Scrooge’s money and become a total visor-wearing, Kardashian-dating, reality show-having idiot?
These are the issues that keep me awake at night.
So, you know what this means. Yes. It’s time for another giveaway.
Leave a comment with your most outrageous holiday movie sequel idea. The more inappropriate, the better. The most awesomest of the awesome sequel concepts will win what is truly a great gift basket … let’s just say that I purposely gathered an extra gift on par with what my besties will receive this year. It will change your life!
Sequel it up by noon on Sunday for a chance at fame and fabulous prizes. Make me laugh and enable me to do what I love: give shit away. Everybody wins!Now. Whatever happened to Ralphie’s little brother, Randy?