When NyQuil and I started out this week, I was so in love. Our song was totally “Love of a lifetime” by Firehouse.
Then, a few days later? Things were OK, but not, you know, great. I saw the danger signs. Totally “Tryin’ to get the feeling again” by your favorite artist and mine, Barry Manilow.
And last night? After a day of hacking and two hot showers meant not to extinguish my considerable funk but to break up some of the crap in my lungs and sinuses? A day of desperately wanting to leave my house but also wanting to just go to bed to escape the mucus-drenched reality of my life?
Yeah. NyQuil totally did not deliver. But why? What did I do wrong? All I ever did was love you, NyQuil! Why are you failing me now?
I can honestly say that as I stewed in bed, awake, hacking, and totally pissed off, I entertained myself by coming up with a playlist. A playlist of the mix tape that I’d make for NyQuil to let him know in no uncertain terms that dude, we are over.
Goodbye to you – Scandal
I hate myself for loving you – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
You don’t own me – Leslie Gore
Here I go again – Whitesnake
You’re so vain – Carly Simon
Heartbreaker – Pat Benatar
Time for me to fly – REO Speedwagon
And, of course, the greatest break-up song evah: Tyrone by Erykah Badu.
What songs did I miss? And what new cold medicine will knock me out appropriately?
Obviously, I’m delirious with fatigue. Be glad that I’m still sequestered away at home, keeping my funk and germs and general lack of sanity to myself.