Once, twice, three times a lady.

Both Poochie and I were home with the ‘rents this weekend. No particular reason – just keepin’ it real.

Real as in I made $10. Cash.

Poochie paid me. To eat a dog treat.


If you have dogs, you probably know all about Greenies. They’re green bones and dogs freak out over them. As my dad so accurately noted, it’s like they’re made of heroin.

Poochie pulled $14 out of his shirt pocket, smoothed the bills, and laid them out on the kitchen counter. “Cha Cha, I have $14 here. If you eat a Greenie, it’s yours.”

Stupid me? I was all, “OK!”

I guess there’s something about being around my sibling that makes me revert back to, oh, about junior high.

My mom looked like she was going to pass out – laughing so hard she was crying. Before I popped the treat into my mouth, I read the ingredients list. When I got to “chicken tendon,” we all sort of agreed that $14 wasn’t quite enough. So Poochie ripped the treat in half and offered $10.

Side note: the Greenies site doesn’t list chicken tendon, but “natural poultry flavor” in the ingredients list. Whatever. CHICKEN TENDON.

I popped the green snack in my mouth and chewed. And chewed and chewed some more. It tasted like dog food, but not disgusting. It’s not like it was rotten or made of pickles or anything gross like that. It just tasted … sort of eww. And dear God in heaven, was it ever chewy. Chewy, like Poochie began taunting me that it would be stuck in my teeth and so I’d relive the experience over and over again. However, my teeth would be clean and my breath would be oh-so-fresh.

Finally, I got the treat down. And I pocketed my winnings.

Later, I texted My Guy about my feat. Surely I am the woman of his dreams, right?

His response was simply, “Too sexy.”

Damn straight.

What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever done at the prompting of your siblings?

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