I have blogger guilt. It tastes like sour milk and shame.
I haven’t been writing a ton lately, and that seems to reflect me in the three-dimensional world.
When I get stressed, I tend to turn inward. All the recent craziness with layoffs at Corporate Behemoth meant that some days, I literally did come home and take to my bed. It felt very Southern Recluse in a most Tennessee Williams sort of way.
But even when really wonderful, good things are happening? Well, I tend to play it pretty close to the vest. I’m scared to jinx it. There’s part of me that is prepared to be disappointed and deeply hurt. And then there’s another part of me that accepts that happiness is natural and welcome and expected. And sometimes, those two parts of my personality duke it out like Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots.
Or Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Or the violent 80s toy of your choice.
But sometimes? Sometimes, I just let it be.
So now, I will tell you what’s really going on, because it feels like the elephant (or hippo) sitting on my laptop.
There has been talk. About houses. And futures. And jewelry has been selected. And this weekend, parental blessing was obtained. And now I’m just sort of floating along, knowing what is coming but not knowing when or how or anything.
This all feels so easy and right.
But don’t ask me about it. I don’t want to jinx it.
* I think she was having one of those “You’re the reason Mommy drinks” sort of days. It’s cool.
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