We’re gonna need a montage.

With all the flurry of home-improvement activity, My Guy and I have determined that our stage-two-houses-and-get-them-on-the-market efforts need two things:

1. A theme song
2. A montage

My Guy immediately nixed “Eye of the tiger” for our theme song, which sort of sucks for me. It’s my go-to theme song for gettin’ shit done. So, the jury’s still out on the theme song business. I think we might just need a staging houses mix tape. After all, how could any one song encompass the drywall, the paint, the confused dogs? I’m thinking we need a variety of 80s rock anthems to get us through this trying time. Maybe:

Livin’ on a prayer – Bon Jovi
Anyway you want it – Journey
Roll with the changes – REO Speedwagon
Working for the weekend – Loverboy
Crazy train – Ozzy

Other ideas?

As for the montage of us gettin’ shit done … well, we have a lot of inspiration.

There’s the montage song from South Park and Team America …

Except I don’t know crap about puppets. And if it’s one more thing that I have to paint, you can freakin’ forget it.

And, of course, we could go with a theme like the training montage from Rocky IV. Because training in Siberia for a boxing match is a lot like touching up paint in your kitchen in 96-degree Midwest weather.

Except I don’t think we can line up Talia Shire to stand around, looking concerned about our home improvement.

I must admit, though, that last night, after realizing that repainting the trim around my house is not just a big project, but a gargantuan one that will require physical pain and contortions seen previously only in circus performers? Well, I felt a bit like the agony of defeat guy from the classic Wide World of Sports montage.

This is actually a pretty accurate portrayal of my skiing skills. Hmm.

But really? Maybe it’s the recent remake, but I gotta go with The Karate Kid montage as my biggest montage influence. Maybe it’s because I feel like Daniel, standing around with my mouth open.

Seriously. Does he have some sort of jaw disorder?

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