Life as I know it is over. Oh-ver.
When I was in third grade, my dad gave me a clock radio for Christmas. It has two alarms, buttons I know by feel, and SIMULATED WOOD GRAIN.
The best part? It has a label on the top that says “SIMULATED WOOD GRAIN.” You know, lest someone mistake it for real wood and try to use it as kindling.
We’ve been together for, umm, 28 years.
And now? My clock radio is ailing.
A few months ago, the clock gained about 20 minutes a day. I unplugged it, said a little prayer, and plugged it back in. All better.
But this weekend? This weekend, it was keeping double time. As in, it gained 12 hours a day.
As someone who likes to be places sort of on time and who is also in no way a morning person, this is a problem.
I did the ol’ unplug / prayer combo again, and so far, it seems to be working. However, I can’t deny it: my simulated wood grain pal is in hospice care. Our time is growing thin.
I am devastated. Did I mention that I can program this sucka by feel? And that we’ve been together longer than most marriages?
I was willing to be brave and look for a new clock radio. Except … they are all horrible. I’m willing to forgo SIMULATED WOOD GRAIN, but I need a radio because a straight-up alarm freaks me out. I need a digital display because I’m blind. And I need buttons that I can aspire to operate by feel. I do not need to dock the iPod that I don’t have. And I don’t need to project the time onto the wall in giganto size.
So, there are some OK alarm clocks out there. But none of them are Just Right. None of them are my alarm clock. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m truly sad about this. I guess you don’t just break up with someone after 28 years without some sort of angst.
Do you have an alarm clock you love? What’s it like? I’m taking suggestions.
And yes, I realize this is totally a first-world problem.