My Guy and I had lunch with his mom and his grandma yesterday. We ate in the dining room of grandma’s retirement village. The portions were tiny, the food bland, and the conversation … unappetizing.
Grandma: So, there’s been a lot of diarrhea going around lately.
(Side note: a) Grandma is 91 and has no filter; and b) Can we all just agree that this is the greatest opening line of all time?)
Grandma: Yeah. Lots of people have a stomach bug.
My Guy, trying to redirect the conversation: Well, right before Christmas, I had a horrible stomach bug. I’ve never been that sick.
Grandma, eagerly: Did you have diarrhea?
My Guy: Uh, no.
Grandma, disappointed but not deterred: Well, whenever your mother had a stomach bug, she always got diarrhea, too. Always had it coming out both ends! None of my other girls were like that, but your mom always got diarrhea.
And … scene!