If the woman wants to talk about poo, you can’t stop her.

My Guy and I had lunch with his mom and his grandma yesterday. We ate in the dining room of grandma’s retirement village. The portions were tiny, the food bland, and the conversation … unappetizing.

Grandma: So, there’s been a lot of diarrhea going around lately.

(Side note: a) Grandma is 91 and has no filter; and b) Can we all just agree that this is the greatest opening line of all time?)

MIL: Oh?

Grandma: Yeah. Lots of people have a stomach bug.

My Guy, trying to redirect the conversation: Well, right before Christmas, I had a horrible stomach bug. I’ve never been that sick.

Grandma, eagerly: Did you have diarrhea?

My Guy: Uh, no.

Grandma, disappointed but not deterred: Well, whenever your mother had a stomach bug, she always got diarrhea, too. Always had it coming out both ends! None of my other girls were like that, but your mom always got diarrhea.

MIL: Mom!

And … scene!

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