I’m meeting some interesting characters at Mega Corporate Behemoth. Case in point: Oblivious Coworker.
I’ve had all of these conversations with OC. I’m not even kidding.
Me, admiring the hydrangeas on OC’s desk: These are lovely! We just planted a hydrangea.
OC: Did you plant a blue one?
OC: You know, I saw a house with blue hydrangeas out front, and it just looked weird.
OC: So, with this project, we need to OHMIGOD, what is that? Is that your lunch bag?
Me: Uh? Yeah?
OC: OHMIGOD, how old is that?
Me: Uh? A year or 2? It’s just a reusable Whole Foods bag …
OC: OHMIGOD, it’s just so beaten down!
OC: I need a writer’s opinion on something, and you’ll just have to do.
Me, a professional writer: OHMIGOD. Gee, OK!
OC: Geez, don’t get so huffy. Anyway …