Showin’ some skin, granny style.

Since it’s the very last day of summer, I went to da poo (or, “the pool” for those of you who are unfamiliar with my brother’s nekkid Barbie behest).

It was lovely. I lounged in the zero-entry area with my friend and chatted it up as we watched her twins swim themselves into exhaustion.

The first time I went to this pool, I was nervous. I was just sure that it would be packed with moms who spend half their lives at the gym and have the rockin’ bodies to prove it. Sure, there are some of those. But mostly, this city pool provides a nice representation of all body types. I’m a little sad for the moms who feel the need to wear those little bikini skirts when really, they have nothing to hide. But other than that? It’s kewl.

Today, though, I found myself absolutely confounded. There was a grandma there, playing with her grandkids and donning a rather chaste, almost knee-length grandma swim dress.

Except Chaste Grandma? Had giant tattoos on her back and upper arms. Giant. Tattoos.

Now, I am down with some skin art. But what killed me was the thought that people have grandmas with big ol’ tattoos … and I cannot imagine my own grandma with a tat.

My sweet grandma was of the June Cleaver ilk. She could prepare a huge meal for her extended family and never need an apron, because she never spilled or splattered. She wore pearls. She never cussed or drank or was anything besides in control.

So, if my grandma had a tattoo … what would it be?

My imagination has been running wild on this one. Some options:

  • A heart with my grandpa’s name in a banner across it. They were married for 69 years, so I think a tattoo would be OK – none of this “you know that’s permanent, right?” business. Yeah, they knew it was permanent.
  • Her best dog, Skipper. I am crazy about dogs, but Grandma totally was, too. And Skipper was the dog to beat all dogs, and is still spoken of reverently. If Grandma wanted to go all ASPCA with her tat, Skipper might be a good skin-art choice.
  • A family photo. This would be more of a full-back tat, not just an arm piece. In honor of my grandparents’ 50th anniversary, we had a giant family portrait with them, all the kids, and all the grandkids – 16 people total. And nothing was more important to Grandma than family. This would be a big tattoo. However, I’m not sure how I feel about her showing it off – as you might imagine, I did not have a grandma who wore tube tops.

Do you have a tattooed granny? What’s her ink? Or what would be the most appropriate tat if your grandma were to get some skin art?

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