Yes, I am worrying my pretty little head about it.

I can’t bring myself to watch “Mad Men.” I know it’s a great show, and if anyone could convince me to watch any program, it’s Jon Hamm. But I just can’t stand watching how the women portrayed on the show are treated.

I’m almost OK if I think about it as an accurate portrayal of sexism that is long, long gone. But it’s not distant history. It seems like we’re rehashing the same stuff in the upcoming election.

Obviously, I’m super pumped about democracy and you bet your ass I’m going to vote. But all the tomfoolery? Make it stop!

My particular pet peeve is the growing number of candidates who seem to feel like it’s finally OK to just come right out and voice their opinions on my ladyparts, my role in my household, and, oh, how being a woman is a pre-existing condition that requires special care and consideration.

Some rape is legitimate – more rapey than other rape. Women need flexible work hours so they can go home to cook dinner for their husbands. Being handed women’s resumes that you didn’t request means means that you really did try to hire women. Abortion is the business of the government, not a woman and her doctor.

I’ve learned so much.

And now? I’m tired.

I’m tired of being told that I’m not to be trusted with my own body. I’m tired of being told that I should be happy to have a job and shouldn’t worry my pretty little head about what I’m actually being paid. I’m tired of people acting like the crazy talk is kinda normal.

I guess I can blame my parents. In yet another example of how they failed me, they never bothered to tell me that I am not bright and my work isn’t worth as much as that of my male counterparts. They never sat me down for “the talk,” where they covered sex, Santa, and how Jesus and George Washington expect me to prepare gorgeous meals every night for my husband. My mom and dad even went so far as to make me think that I was smart, and could do whatever I wanted to do in life – in or out of the kitchen.

I know, I know.

Now, I’m finding out that it was all just a big fat lie.

I’m also finding out that my entire career as a writer and editor has been built on a yet another lie.

Of course, I’m talking about Bic’s new pens for women. All these years, I’ve been using Man Pens and didn’t even know it. It’s a miracle that I haven’t permanently ruined by manicure and my mind. Ellen explains it all best:
Yes. Men have pills for hair loss and erectile dysfunction, and women have finally gotten a pen.

Please vote – with your ballot and your dollar. Vote for the people and companies that have your daughters’ best interests at heart.

Also? I’m pretty sure that “best interests” does not mean “a future in a steno pool.”

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