My Guy’s cousin recently graduated from high school. The graduate is a really cool guy, and we were happy to send him a card with a little cash.
Because I’m a giant dork, I bought him a card from The Onion. And inside I wrote, “Follow your dreams and stuff.”
I don’t know why I don’t work for Hallmark.
So, today, we got a thank you card. It was a masterpiece of 18-year-old boy wordsmithing:
My Guy and Cha Cha –
Thanks for the card and the cash. I will spend it well. I will think of you lots at college.
I couldn’t help but laugh. However, My Guy did point out that the thank you arrived with expedient aplomb. It was actually really impressive, as I’d sent the card just a few days ago.
My Guy: I don’t remember writing my graduation thank yous that quickly. I don’t think we even had a party.
Me: You didn’t clean out the garage, set up folding chairs, and have a party with sheet cake and ham buns?
My Guy: Ham buns?
Me: Yeah. You know, buns from HyVee, sliced open, with ham in ’em?
My Guy: You mean ham sandwiches?
Me: They’re called “ham buns.”
My Guy: What is wrong with your people?
Me: You’re just jealous.
My Guy: I don’t even remember what I received for graduation gifts, besides lots of Bibles.
Me: Bibles? I guess people thought you really needed The Lord?
My Guy: I guess.
Me: The best gifts I got were from these 2 little old ladies at church. They were sisters – Mary and Alice. Alice gave me stationery, and Mary gave me stamps. At college, those stamps were like gold!
My Guy: Stationery? What did you do with that?
I looked at him. And then I realized that our 5-year age difference really matters here.
Me: I went to college before the Internet. I wrote letters … like the pioneers.
My Guy: – blank stare –
Me: – grey head in weathered, elderly hands –