Alan Thicke, soon-to-be superstar.

I recently came across this video and, well, I’m not exaggerating when I say it changed my life.

Listen, we’re all thinking it, so I’m just gonna come out and say it: If Robin Thicke can have the song of the summer, then Alan Thicke should have the song of the fall.

People, we can make this happen.

I hear your questions, and I have answers.

  • Yes, the Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship was a thing. And it was awesome.
  • While I would like to say that I believe in Crystal Light because I believe in me, mostly I believe I learned the hard way that Crystal Light and vodka taste terrible together.
  • Yes, it’s possible for a song to become a big hit decades after it was first released. See also: “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
  • Yes, the Thickes are Canadian. So yes, another number 1 hit in the U.S. would further enhance otherwise precarious U.S. – Canadian relations. I’m sure the State Department would totally be behind another Thicke clan number 1.
  • Like you, I’m concerned about the Canadian music mafia. However, I’m confident that we can get the likes of Bryan Adams and Randy Bachman behind another big international hit from Canada. Truthfully, I’m not 100% sure that we can get the nod of approval from Gordon Lightfoot, but I don’t think he would stand in the way. After all, he’s on a carefree highway.
  • Yes, I recognize that Alan Thicke used to be married to Gloria Loring of “Days of Our Lives.” I’m not sure how their relationship ended, so it would be possible that the large “Days” lobby could oppose a successful hit song by Ms. Loring’s ex. However, I think the “How I Met Your Mother” lobby would more than make up for any “Days” bitterness.
  • Yes, I’m totally thinking what you’re thinking: The name of the song is “Sweaty and Hot,” and it’s about the benefits of working out. Michelle Obama will be all over this!  
  • No, there’s just really nothing left to say.

So, let’s make this happen. The song is catchy in that “I started out laughing but I can’t get it out of my head and now I’m really into it” sort of way. Isn’t that what all good pop music is?

Go to iTunes. Go to Amazon. But just go forth and spread the words: “Sweaty and Hot!”

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  • Reply Cassi Renee August 30, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    When I first started hearing the stories about some offensive song by Robin Thicke, I thought it was the dad –I remembered the name Thicke, but not his first name. I wondered how on Earth some old guy who'd been popular on TV many moons ago could have a song that would upset so many people. I never bothered to actually watch the video. But now, thanks to you, I know just how upsetting Alan Thicke can be when he sings too!

  • Reply Kelley August 30, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    More Alan Thicke hotness for you- the man wrote the theme songs for both Differn't Strokes and The Facts of Life. He's practically
    80s royalty just for that alone.

    Be wary of the Canadian music mafia. After all, they also gave us Justin Bieber and Celine Dion. Obviously, they can be dangerous when crossed.

  • Reply Leesa August 30, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    I think it's safe to assume that Alan taught Robin how to dance. Perhaps he choreographed Robin's Blurred Lines video.

    Have you ever wondered if the Canadian music mafia and Amish mafia are in cahoots?

  • Reply cookingwithgas August 30, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    wait a minute— no one took off their clothes- boy take me back.
    I have seen some things lately that have made me wish I had not.
    And- about the hair….

  • Reply Green Girl in Wisconsin August 31, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    Bwahahahaha! Bring on the Sweaty and Hot! And aerobics! And Crystal Light! I believe!

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