I don’t even care that they aren’t double-stuffed. I DON’T CARE!

First off, I acknowledge that there’s nothing worse than hearing someone talk about their diet or their bunions or weird rash or whatever. Keep that shit to yourself, man.


Ohmygod, I gave up dairy a few months ago and it’s made me feel so much better and I’m eating clean-ish, with very few processed and packaged foods and it’s wonderful and I feel great and feel like I’m fueling my body instead of eating crap.

But, you guys?

I want Oreos right now so badly. Just a big ol’ bag of Double Stuf Oreos. No milk. No friends or greedy spousal unit to “help” eat said Oreos. I need to be alone with the Oreos, to commune with the Oreos. I must be one with the Oreos!

I am even willing to overlook the egregious misspelling of “Stuf” in the Double Stuf Oreo. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

I keep expecting the cravings for sweets to pass, but so far, they haven’t. Obviously. I guess when you could eat brownies for every meal, every day, that shit takes a while to wear off.

What bad-for-you foodstuff do you crave like a starving, rabid, and poorly groomed wild dog?

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  • Reply Liz in Virginia August 30, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    I drink way too much Coca-Cola. I mean, like, w-a-a-y too much. And it has to be true Coke in the red can. I cannot be drinking the Diet Coke or the Coke Zero or even the Tab, because no.

    So when I try to break the habit, I get a little shaky. Which means I start jonesing for a fix. And I daydream about the sound of a Coke being poured over ice . . . Mmmm. It's bad.

  • Reply Jenny Hart Boren August 30, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    I doubled down on the low carb, real food approach (and I was a good eater before) and lost about five pounds, but stalled out. The only real way to change things (I cannot possibly eat less than 1,000 calories for the long haul) is way more exercise, but dang! Exercise is total punishment for me, and what did I do to deserve that?

    So I fit a little chocolate into almost every day, somehow. I haven't stopped craving it. I don't miss most carby foods, just homemade things like cookies. Or ice cream. Oreos sound pretty good, too.

  • Reply cookingwithgas August 31, 2013 at 12:24 am

    Git you sum!
    Just go git you sum of dem cookies!

    I did not eat chocolate for 32 years.
    Or drink coffee.
    Thank the Lord for menopause and chocolate and coffee.
    Goodness me I loves me some good eating but now and again you must break bad.

  • Reply smalltownme August 31, 2013 at 1:28 am

    Tortilla chips and salsa. But actually, that's not so bad!

  • Reply Karen (formerly kcinnova) August 31, 2013 at 5:07 am

    I'll join smalltownme for chips and salsa as soon as finish off this ice cream I've been gorging on lately (i.e., ever since my husband drove away for his backpacking trip).

  • Reply Green Girl in Wisconsin August 31, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    A cheeseburger from McDonald's. With the smear of pickle/diced onions/mustard/ketchup and flat bun. Awful.

  • Reply Becky August 31, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    Carnival food. Corn dogs, funnel cakes and more.
    Of course, I will make do with a bag of potato chips.

  • Reply Leesa August 31, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    Double Stuf Oreo arrived on the scene in 1975. Why did it take until 2013 for someone to do the math and figure out that there's not double the stuf in the cookie?

    Oreos are my secret binge food. But milk is required. Each cookie is dunked for about 10 seconds, and then eaten whole. If I twist off the top, I'll eat the cream and then dunk the cookie wafers.

  • Reply Trixie Bang Bang September 1, 2013 at 2:02 am

    I want to try that clean eating business – any links you can recommend? I want to start that next week, though – this weekend is for pizza and ribs and all things cook-out related.

    As for the double stufs, well, 2 things:

    #1 – we're getting jipped on the stuf. There used to be way way way more white stuf in the middle of the doubles. It makes me mad that they're trying to trick me, but not enough to give them up.

    #2 – when I do buy them, they rarely see the sun come up. They're just too. damn. good. Even with scrimpy stuf.

  • Reply Jobless in KC September 1, 2013 at 4:47 am

    My chiropracter convinced me a few years ago to do a "cleanse" where I would give up gluten, dairy AND sugar in the same week–for three weeks. No fruit for the first week. I was really stressed at the time because I was going to school full-time, working two jobs and planning a wedding. Sunday nights I had to stay late at my job with the college paper and help edit the damn thing. I'd been on that damn diet all week and had noticed my mood going a little crazy. I was tired. I was hungry. A writer asked me a very basic question about AP style and I lost my shit and roared that if I didn't get a damn donut RIGHT NOW I was going to chop someone's head off. Obviously the diet didn't last beyond that night.

    Apparently sugar is addictive. I really admire your will-power Cha-Cha!

  • Reply Anonymous September 1, 2013 at 4:48 am

    PS. I'm jobless in KC (stupid old blogger ID)

  • Reply Kelley September 2, 2013 at 2:00 am

    For goodness sakes woman, just go get some cookies!

    I really try to not drink a lot of soda, most days I just drink water or iced tea. But sometimes I just have to have a Rt.44 sized cherry Coke from Sonic. Has to be Sonic. It's the little crushed ice they have, and the cherry syrup they use. Yum. Food-wise, it's ice cream, always ice cream. And when I can't get a good flavor of gelato, I go completely cheap and get Great Value (don't judge) ice cream that's half cookies & cream and half peanut butter cup. There's always big chunks of pb and chocolate and whole cookies in the thing. If I wasn't already in my jammies, I would go get some now. They probably wouldn't notice at wally-world, though, would they?

  • Reply sherilee September 2, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    I accidentally went no dairy, no sugar, no caffeine in August because I got really sick with the flu and then pneumonia (in August, how bizzare). I kind of "came to" at the end of it and don't really miss it. I did make coffee the first few mornings back to work but never made it more than halfway through the cup. We'll see how long it lasts–generally I tend to slide back into previous habits.

    As for cravings, I usually want cheese or something custardy and sweet. So yeah, dairy won't stay on the "not eating" list for long.

  • Reply Banjo Unfabulousness September 4, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    Greasy nasty taco's from Jack in the Box and double chocolate ice cream. Yum. Usually need during Auntie Flo's visit……

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