Yesterday was Boss’s Day. Did you get your boss person a card?
I happened to visit My Guy’s workplace yesterday. As he was showing me his cube, he kept mentioning loudly that oh, by the way, no one had gotten him a GIFT for BOSS’S DAY.
I thought it was hilarious. I hope his employees did, too. It’s such a dumb “holiday.”
Since my bosses are of the canine variety, I didn’t get anyone a card to commemorate the day. The dogs don’t pay a lot of attention to Hallmark holidays. Even if they did, they don’t read. So, in a pinch, I could hand a dachshund a piece of junk mail and act like it was a card.
Not that I would do that, but … well, you know. There were some times during my tenure in Corporate America that it seemed a grocery circular would be more heartfelt than a sappy card. I was pretty lucky to have mostly good supervisors. But there were days … and my friends had days and some questionable managers.
There should be a line of painfully honest cards for Boss’s Day. Here are my suggestions.
Front: When I see you coming, I hide in the restroom.
Inside: Yeah, you’re worse than poop. But Happy Boss’s Day, or whatever.
Front: Your photo is in the dictionary next to “irrational.”
Inside: I don’t know why. I didn’t write the dictionary. I’m just reporting the facts. Me working overtime is not going to change anything. No, I don’t think Dave from accounting is responsible for the dictionary, even if you think he’s out to get you. I don’t know! I don’t know! Just never mind!
Front: Happy Boss’s Day to a great boss.
Inside: No, I don’t buy it, either. I’m just telling you what you want to hear, like every other day.
Front: When we call you “The Fossil,” it’s a term of endearment.
Inside: It has nothing to do with you being dead inside. Happy Boss’s Day.
What would you love to say to the worst boss you ever had?