It’s a sling. That they put in your hoo-ha.

I don’t know what kind of teevee shows you watch, but lately? Lately, My Guy and I have seen a lot of teevee ads for TRANSVAGINAL MESH.

Or, to be more accurate, ads for wanting to sue somebody because you had a bad experience with TRANSVAGINAL MESH.

Now, I get it. Sometimes, when you have surgery, you need some kind of sling to keep all yo’ organs all up in their proper places. Sometimes, you just need to show your internal bidness who is boss, and nobody can do that like some TRANSVAGINAL MESH.

However, I hardly think that after a long day, when you settle down to watch some “House Hunters,” that you’re in the right frame of mind to finally decide that hey, maybe it’s time you sued those honkies who made your shoddy TRANSVAGINAL MESH.

And who made that media buy? “Uh, yeah, we’ll take placement during ‘Maury’ and, yeah, the entire HGTV prime-time line-up. That’s really when people are thinking about TRANSVAGINAL MESH.”

I’m not trying to be insensitive. I’d understand the ads if it happened once or twice, or if we were watching lots of daytime or late-night teevee. But we see the ads all the damned time. And what is it about watching first-time homebuyers make stupid comments about needing 5 bedrooms and granite in the kitchen that’s an obvious tie-in? What about the home-buying process just screams, “TRANSVAGINAL MESH?”

And speaking of screaming? Since the ad features on-screen text that’s in all-caps and emergency yellow? I think that, obviously, you can’t say the name of this medical product without screaming it. Like, “Run for your lives! We’re being chased by rabid, zombie TRANSVAGINAL MESH!”

So, basically, every time we watch “House Hunters” now, my subconscious makes certain connections, and I think the people are looking at homes in neighborhoods infested with roving bands of ne’er-do-well TRANVAGINAL MESH.

I never agree with the buying decisions on that show.

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  • Reply Green Girl in Wisconsin November 14, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    Just the words make me squeamish. "Transvaginal" and "Mesh." Icky.

  • Reply Banjo Unfabulousness November 16, 2013 at 12:30 am

    Ha! I have often thought the same thing!

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