To the cast of “The Love Boat,” I’m looking at you. It’s time to get the gang back together for made-for-teevee movie magic. You’re the only ones who can save us, the only life raft that can keep us afloat in the choppy waters of good cruises gone bad.
Clearly, I’m talking about the recent spate of cruises that have unwittingly hosted norovirus.
We need the crew of the Pacific Princess to show us the proper way to deal with horrendous diarrhea and other maritime disasters. I figured it all out and explain my plan in detail at Aiming Low.
Don’t worry: Isaac the bartender will still serve drinks with his signature finger-pointing panache. It’s just that the pina coladas will be replaced by Pepto and 7Up.