There are no adults. It’s just us!

It’s a Thursday night, and our neighbors are having A Grown-Up Party.

Luxury sedans line the street, and a gaggle of folks are enjoying their hosts’ lovely brick patio and brand-new outdoor fireplace. There’s scrumptious food and music that’s fun but not too much. They probably even have some sort of signature cocktail.

I’m trying not to be the weird neighbor who looks out the window and watches. This is actually not that hard, seeing as how I’m busy cleaning up dog pee. Inside my house.

At least my dogs had the good sense to run outside, do their business (or not), then come back in with no fuss or barking. It’s like they realized that we, as a pack, aren’t classy enough to mix with the gentry next door. We should just cower in our house. You know, the house where a bunch of the front bushes died over the winter, so the whole place looks slightly “crazy cat lady meets ‘Sanford and Son?'” That house?

Clearly, I am faking being a grown up.

I’ve always felt like I was faking being a writer, too. Because, you know, writing professionally for 15 years and blogging for 7 years don’t count. Clearly, I was just pulling a fast one.

My recent writing workshop adventures made me rethink that. At some point during the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, between sessions and explaining that “I write about dogs and boobs?” Somewhere in there, I had an epiphany.

I’m a real writer.

I texted BFF and admitted this discovery to her. Because she’s brilliant, her response was, “Jeez, YOU THINK?”

And my book club girls, upon hearing this same discovery? They were all like, “No shit.” But then I asked, “Don’t you guys ever feel like impostors, like you’re going to be found out at any moment and outed for not knowing what you’re doing?”

Ohhh. They all had that going for them in 1 area or another. Being a “real writer” just happens to be my personal sweet spot.

And yet we all drudge along, sure that everyone is smarter, more talented, more together, and just plain better.

We are so dumb.

We’re all faking it ’til we make it. There are no grown ups. It’s just us, over-grown kids that we are, trying to figure it all out, and still amazed that we can buy beer. None of us know what we’re doing.

But we do know. If we’re honest and willing to toot our own horns, we have areas of expertise. Mine are putting words together and making grilled-cheese sandwiches. I’m pretty happy with 2 solid life skills. I need to become more comfortable owning these mad skillz. You need a cheese-based meal or some web copy? I am your woman.

Throwing Grown-Up Parties isn’t in my skill set, and that’s OK. My skills are valuable, and my story is valuable, and I need to own them.

What’s in your skill set?

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  • Reply Anonymous April 18, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    My skill set involves eating grilled cheese sandwiches. Coincidence? I think not.

  • Reply Green Girl in Wisconsin April 18, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    I love the comparison to being amazed we're old enough to buy beer. I always feel so grown up when I buy beer. And I still feel like I'm faking this writing thing.
    I <3 this post.

  • Reply Becky April 18, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    The fact that we might be considered grown ups now has been a recent topic of conversation in this house. I mean, we knew we were grown ups, but the idea that we might be in charge is a bit heady.

    I pretty fake most of it. Especially the part about being a responsible member of society. Also, I still sometimes think my daughter's real parents are going to show up & whisk her away to a better place, telling us we did our best. She's 12, so it's not quite as bad as say, the first six months of her life when I couldn't believe they let us bring her home with us.
    My skill set would include getting everyone around me to think I'm great at being in charge & running the PTO. I blame the fact that no one else wants to do it on the last one, not my awesome skills. I can also get red mud stains out of just about anything.

  • Reply Violet April 18, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    My skill set includes really great meeting and event planning and management; making the best fried chicken you ever ate; seeing both sides of most arguments (a blessing and a curse); being very, very likable; and welcoming change.

    I feel like I'm faking it whenever I interview for a job. And what is it about purchasing liquor that makes us feel like we are putting one over on The Establishment?

  • Reply Greg April 18, 2014 at 10:18 pm

    I consume sandwiches. Nobody netter at it and I'll fight you if you disagree.

  • Reply Greg April 18, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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