The week-long celebration of Mothers’ Day – and my rad mama in particular – continues!
Yesterday, Mom talked about style and raising a feminist. Today? She talks about her gajillion years of marriage, all to the same man.
Me: So, you’ve been married since about the dawn of time. What have you learned from 45-plus years with the same guy?
Mama C: As his mother said after almost 70 years of marriage … “you just take it one day at a time.”
Some days the little stuff drives you crazy, some days it’s endearing to know exactly what he’s gonna do or say. But when I look at him, I remember that really cute guy with the killer smile and those blue eyes from so long ago and I know that he will be there to hold my hand not only on the good days but on the really bad ones too.
And now I need a Kleenex.
Me: I love you so much.
I think that was a gift you gave me and Poochie, too – even when it was obvious to us as kids that you and Dad kind of wanted to kill each other, we knew you looooooved each other, and nobody was going anywhere.
Mama C: Hmmm – nobody was going anywhere … maybe that’s because I kept telling your dad how happy he was. “Repeat after me, Steve.”
Me: What advice would you give those of us who want to be married and stay married but kind of have no idea what we’re doing?
Mama C: Seriously, I think Gramma said it all. Marriage is not always easy, but it is a commitment that you’ve made to another person. It takes work. Sometimes you have to give [and give and give …] and sometimes you need to take. I wish it wasn’t so easy for people to end a marriage cuz they don’t take it seriously enough. I certainly don’t have all the answers, or even some of them. But one day at a time is good advice.
One day at a time is how I’m taking this interview, too. Tomorrow? Learn the truth about that time Mom almost left her kids on the side of the highway and never looked back. Really.
I'm really loving this series!
Mama's sister Candy has much to add to this story since I have been married even longer than Mama C –but we have been loving confidants over the years so suffice it to say that C & C have had their ups and downs but we have picked each other up, dried the tears and taken it one day at a time. Great writing dear sweet niece!
I love the comment about remembering the younger version of your partner and thinking about the hand-holding in the future. Such a great past, present and future perspective. While I'm sure there may be some people who end a marriage because they don't take it seriously enough or who find it easy to do so, I can't say I've ever met any yet.