I’m bad at grieving.

Thank you for the kind words about the passing of Foxie Doxie. They truly mean more than I can ever say.

This is hard.

I’m cycling through all the stages of I’m-not-good-at-this grief:

  • Eat your feelings. Pad Thai for breakfast and pizza for lunch? Don’t mind if I do!
  • Sleep. All the damned time. My excuse is that sleep was a rare commodity the last week of Foxie Doxie’s life. The truth is probably closer to “I don’t want to face the world.”
  • Watch “Rambo: First Blood Part II.” This is actually a really good movie. If you’re grieving, I highly recommend channeling your pain through John Rambo. He will shoot people, and it will make you feel better. You’ll feel guilty for feeling better, but you’ll feel better.
  • Call your parents and start crying when you hear your dad’s kind, even voice. Make him tell you all about how he went to coffee and then to the dentist this morning, and take comfort in your dad being your dad and the beauty of the everyday.
  • Make an executive decision to wash your hair and put on some pants. Not sweatpants. Real pants. Implement this decision, even though it takes longer than usual to prepare to face the world.
  • Leave the house. See friends. Realize the depth and breadth of your riches, as well as the simple power of a frou-frou cocktail.
  • Love on your dogs. They’re hurting, too. Cuddle up, even though the entire house still smells like dog pee and you should scrub the floors instead. Choose love and a slight funk over a clean house.

What’s your go-to stage of grief? Clearly, I’m no expert. Any suggestions?

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  • Reply smalltownme September 16, 2014 at 3:24 am

    We were lucky to have a cat (can you really have a cat? the cat had us) for 19 years. After she was gone we were at the humane society 2 days later rescuing 2 cats. That's how we dealt with our grief. One of those cats now has lymphoma but is responding well to treatment. Not sure how I'm going to deal with his eventualities since he's my giant 16 pound baby. Take comfort wherever you can.

  • Reply Kari September 16, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Eat carbs, watch lots of Gilmore Girls and Friends and cry.
    Sending you all the love and hugs.

  • Reply Anonymous September 16, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    I'm so sorry. I am glad you are finding comfort in food and friends and Rambo. Sending love.

  • Reply Average Jane September 16, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    Take your time and eat all the carbs you need.

  • Reply Violet September 16, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    Sleep is my response to stress of all kinds. I may be depressed and/or grief-stricken, but I'll certainly be well-rested! Actually, I'm glad my body responds this way. It's easier to ignore everything asleep than awake.

    And then, when I wake, carbs. Lots and lots of carbs.

    Be gentle with yourself.

  • Reply Banjo Unfabulousness September 17, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Eat, sleep, drink. Repeat. Sending hugs.

  • Reply Common Household Mom September 17, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    I'm sorry to see this sad news.

    Rest, sleep, comfort food, time alone, time with friends, crying, laughing. I hope you are able to find all of those things in the amounts you need them.

  • Reply Green Girl in Wisconsin September 21, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    A dose of staring into space quietly somewhere outside is good, too.
    Hugs. To you and your other dogs.

  • Reply Ilyanna Kreske September 22, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    used to be carbs. now I walk. walk and walk and walk. It helps.
    Lots of hugs.

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