I’m sorry to say that I’m not feeling funny. I’m sad and everything is terrible. People are hating each other and it makes me sad. My 12-year-old labradoodle is having trouble walking and has stopped sleeping through the night and it makes me sad and very, very tired. The oak mites are still dropping from the sky and biting poor, innocent people and it makes me sad and itchy and welty.
So, to combat this, I’m delving into a deep well of joy. Obviously, I’m talking about the notes I’ve scribbled hither and yon, based on conversations with my husband. My Guy pretends to be a mild-mannered software architect, but really? Really, he’s the funniest human alive. Here are a few of his direct quotes.
“I’m sorry to say we no longer eat on Thursdays.”
“I ain’t refurbishing no damned IHOPs.”
“He has curry sweat.”
“My jokes are varied and rich.”
“You don’t know shit about beach towels, but I do!”
Sometimes, you have to find joy in the small things, the one-off comments, the way the light of the super moon reflects off your geriatric dog when he decides he needs to sit on the patio at 2 a.m. This is one of those times.
What’s keeping you afloat? And can I have some?
THEY TURNED OUR IHOP INTO A DAMN HOOTERS.
Sorry for yelling.
But I feel better now.
Kari. Just … what? Shouldn't that be illegal?
And of course you're yelling. IM YELLING ON YOUR BEHALF!!!
Oh, Cha Cha, I'm so sorry. We aren't far behind you in the dog health issues.
I've been turning my anger into phone calls to Washington, D.C. (I do use a nice tone of voice with the staffers.) But it sure makes me feel like I'm doing something positive with my bad feelings.
Chocolate…that's what makes me buoyant! 😉
So sorry about your dog, that heartbreak on top of the rest is too unfair.
I have been reading Psalms. Praying. Trying to focus on little things that I'm thankful for. Avoiding the news a lot more. Drinking beer.
Your guy's sayings are pretty funny.
Ugh. The awfulness is just everywhere.
Trying to not listen to hard to the news. Yesterday morning, when I found myself unable to even read the style section, I found myself cleaning the house and then spent the rest of the day going through my mending pile, sewing by hand. It was actually quite restoring.