No wind. No rain. Or winter’s cold.

At our wedding, My Guy and I danced to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” – the Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell version. It’s joyful and, perhaps most importantly, it’s short. Hell on earth is people watching me dance – for all parties, probably.

But whenever I hear the song, it warms my black, black heart. And when a girl needs a diva moment, she can turn to the Diana Ross version. I always envision Ms. Ross in her concert in Central Park, windblown and soaked from the rain, her arms reaching out and her glamorous caftan wafting like a in damn movie.

I heard Diana’s version on the radio the other day and thought, “Damn. That’s big love.” Pouring rain, singing your heart out in front of thousands of people? Big Damn Movie Love.

But real life quickly reminded me that Big Damn Movie Love is not Real Love.

Real Love is doing your father-in-law’s laundry. Real love is seeing unspeakable stains in that laundry but keeping your mouth shut. Real Love is fantasizing about joining the circus but instead joining hands with your spouse and reminding him that he’s LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO LOVE YOU. Sucka.

This year has been one of hardcore Marriaging. We are IN IT. Elder care is not for the weak. And I’ve evidently reached the part of life wherein you look back on your 20s and wonder how you had so much energy and time and, to quote another diva, can it be that it was all so simple then?

I will most likely never perform in Central Park in front of thousands of people in the rain. My soaking wet caftan will most likely be due to an elderly dog’s incontinence and not a glamorous diva moment. When I stretch my arms out to the sky, I’m probably trying to pop my back and praying, begging for patience and strength and Jesus just help.

Perhaps reaching to the sky on my back patio, trying to convince some dog to please just pee already before I have a mental breakdown, is the real, true diva move. Maybe the true sign of Big Damn Real Love is still being here, wet caftan and all.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Melissa December 12, 2023 at 7:26 pm

    Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry. This sounds challenging, disgusting, frustrating, and smelly.
    But you are correct about what love looks like–it’s evident in life’s ugly moments and that’s when it’s truest.

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