A neighbor kid is mowing the yard next door. He’s saving up for a car, so he mows that yard maybe more often than it really needs. His name is Hoke. I…
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Walking Walter the Wonderdoodle, an unfamiliar car passed us. And then it passed us going the other way. And then it came upon us again and parked *in the middle of the…
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As is the custom of my people, we gathered to pay homage to the teenyboppers of our youth. That’s right, people. I saw New Kids on the Block in concert. Me and…
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My high school did “Bye Bye Birdie” as our one and only musical. I had a solo called “What did I ever see in him.” It started like this: Eight years, eight…
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That long-ass title is a fancy way of saying that I am currently sporting a fat lip and a neck scratch that looks like a hickey. And it is all about to…
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I know Valentine’s Day is old news now, but it’s taken me a few days to process what happened. It was a nice day after a slew of snowy, yucky days. Everything…
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Isn’t snow pretty? Generally, it’s pretty until you have to go out in it and then it turns all grey and disgusting and you don’t wear your cute shoes because they’ll get…
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All this talk about stomach bugs makes me look back on the most glorious vomit scene I have ever witnessed. Of course, I’m going to share it with you. There was this…
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I was in touch with The Youth the other day. And found myself woefully out of touch. I got my nails done, and the beautiful young woman next to me said she…
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I’m sick. Like, for real sick. I’ve had a nasty cold for more than a week. In addition to filling my lungs with crud, it’s also severely damaged my psyche. I need…