It has been a bit, eh, thin as of late.
I’ve been waiting for the Zoloft to kick in. And all the stuff that I desperately want to write about, the stuff that’s feeling like the busload of tourists that I’m pulling with my teeth, a la the World’s Strongest Man competition?
Well, it’s Corporate Behemoth. And I can’t really talk about it. Which sucks.
So, let’s pretend I just told you allll about it. And now you can be all, “Oh, noshedidnot!” and “But you’re the best editor in the entire galaxy!” And I will continue to wear dog-hair-encrusted sweatpants and rock back and forth and everyone wins. M’kay?
OK, how about this? Corporate Behemoth is now only stocking the plain yellow Post-Its (why? color is so important!), but Krampus the Christmas Frog is living it up. So let’s talk about him instead.
Krampus checked the mail. And then he visited the restored fancypants house up the street. You know, the one with the statue the nekkid lady? The nekkid lady that they cover with a freakin’ sheet, because it’s Iowa and – no, she isn’t cold – we’ve never seen nekkid bodies and it isn’t right even if it is so-called art?
Yeah. Krampus is really excited that the ice and snow caused some sheet slippage. Pervy little frog.
Next up? Krampus revisits my childhood and discovers public transportation. Stay tuned!