Crawling into bed at 12:01 this morning, Jan. 1, I realized that my elderly dachshund had pooed on the sheets. Not all over the sheets, but he’d done a drive-by wipe on…
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ladybusiness
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This week, I worked the pole. Erm, I mean I worked the polls. I was an election worker. Surely the music and body glitter of working the pole would be far more…
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A neighbor kid is mowing the yard next door. He’s saving up for a car, so he mows that yard maybe more often than it really needs. His name is Hoke. I…
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I’ve got a real problem with necks. A dear friend recently asked me out of the blue, in public, “I noticed you have all those bumps on your face and neck. What…
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About two weeks ago, I drug my sorry self to the dermatologist to get carved up. I hadn’t been for a while, and I was pretty sure he would want to slice…
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Up next, in another exciting episode of “Breast Center” … Nothing. Nothing happens in the latest installment of your least-favorite cheesy drama and mine, “Breast Center.” I went in for my regular…
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My Guy and I are learning to embrace the DINK lifestyle. It’s going pretty well, except we often ask each other, “If we don’t have kids, why don’t we have nicer stuff?”…
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An older lady who lives down the street appears to have a uniform. Every time I see her, she’s sporting some sort of housecoat/smock and a men’s t-shirt. Her legs are always…
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Now that I’m 40, I don’t party like I used to. Which I guess is a good thing, lest I be the creepy 40-year-old at the frat party. But the good news…
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There’s a scourge invading our homeland. No, I’m not talking about Kardashians. It’s worse. I’m talking about the once-normal women who have morphed into 1-dimensional, perfect little fembots. I call them The…