Admire me and my fantastic accomplishment.

It’s been rainy the last few days. So, you know, this means I carried my umbrella to lunch the other day.

This is already the most scintillating blog post ever.

Anyway, back in the elevator at Corporate Behemoth, my coworker S and I were both complimented for our colorful umbrellas.

“Oh – I just got it Marshalls,” S said about her bumpershoot.

“Oh – I just got mine from high school graduation,” I said.

Heads turned.

“And how long ago was that?”

“Nineteen years ago.”

“You’ve had the same umbrella for 19 years?”

“Yes. It’s one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.”

Everyone was impressed. I lived a dream and was plied with kudos for my superior umbrella-keeping skillz.

Or, at least I’m pretending that the looks of pity and judgments on my freakishness were actually jealousy and wonder.

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