I was really tempting fate by titling my last post “One of the worst things to ever happen to me.” I knew it at the time, but figured that Fate knew I was being cheeky.
Alas, Fate did not. She takes that shit seriously. Now, I’m facing life-or-death decisions.
Today, I received a text from My Guy. He had forgotten to feed the labradoodle. No big whoop! I can feed Big Doodle, no problem.
So, I trudged out to the garage and went to scoop kibble into Big Doodle’s bowl. Except! Except the kibble was moving.
There was a very fat mouse in the big ol’ Rubbermaid container that holds the dog food. Now, the container was almost empty, but this mouse had clearly gorged himself for a while. He was bloated and miserable – simultaneously at heaven’s buffet and suffering in indigestion hell.
This infestation might have had something to do with the fact that the lid for the container was on the floor, next to the Rubbermaid tub. While I’m no expert, I believe that lids tend to work best when actually placed on top of the container.
There’s nothing that makes me lose my housewifely mind like vermin in my house. So, clearly, the mouse needs to die, lest he end up in my silverware drawer. However … how? I want to be humane about it. I kind of don’t think that placing a mousetrap in the dog food container is going to get the desired result. Plus, I don’t actually want to put my hand near the mouse. Because he could, like, gnaw my arm off with his huge teeth.
I might be getting a poor little mouse with an eating disorder confused with a horror movie rabid rat.
So, right now, the mouse is in the Rubbermaid container with the lid on it. Uh … now what?