The good news? Big Doodle is doing well. He’s limping, but it’s our new normal, and he’s getting around like a boss. Thank you for all of your kind words and support. They have done wonders.
The bad news? I am also limping. Because I have a stress fracture.
What the what?
Yes. Like athletes do. Except I’m not an athlete. I just walk a lot. Except now I’m walking in The Shoe of Awesomeness. You know, just in case someone might have thought for a split second that I was cool.
The podiatrist was really nice and got me in basically the second I called. While I waited in the exam room, I gazed upon a chart of all the bones and tendons and such of the foot, and I realized that I know nothing about feet, despite the fact that I have 2 of them. I was going to have to tell the doctor about my pain via grunts and pointing.
But I guess podiatrists are genies. They’re like veterinarians in that they’re accustomed to sussing out a problem with minimal input from the patient. I guess when I barked and started panting hard during the exam, he knew that I had a stress fracture above my third toe.
I got to choose between a big ol’ boot (DAS BOOT!) and a sleeker shoe. Believe it or not, this is the lesser of 2 evils.
|Women be buyin’ shoes!|
Yes, you’ll be seeing this on all the runways during Fashion Week.
I texted My Guy a pic of The Shoe of Awesomeness and an explanation. His response? “You’ll just have to sit and look cute for 2 weeks!”
That was pretty adorable. But the joke’s on him when he figures out I didn’t go to the grocery store. I’m going to sit and be cute and we’re both going to starve and die. Or I could just go to the grocery since I am allowed to walk a little – but where’s the fun in that? Or maybe I could go to the grocery and drive around in one of the motorized go-karts! And I could put a flashing light on the go-kart and write tickets to people who have zero grocery etiquette and leave their carts in the middle of the aisle and act like they’ve never been to a store before, ever!
So many possibilities. This Shoe of Awesomeness might really be awesome after all. I’ll keep you posted.
In the meantime, if you need me? I’ll be wrapped in an ace bandage, sporting The Shoe of Awesomeness, and rolling my eyes. Oh, and bringing sexy back. Obviously.