I’ve taken empathy too far.

The good news? Big Doodle is doing well. He’s limping, but it’s our new normal, and he’s getting around like a boss. Thank you for all of your kind words and support. They have done wonders.

The bad news? I am also limping. Because I have a stress fracture.

What the what?

Yes. Like athletes do. Except I’m not an athlete. I just walk a lot. Except now I’m walking in The Shoe of Awesomeness. You know, just in case someone might have thought for a split second that I was cool.

The podiatrist was really nice and got me in basically the second I called. While I waited in the exam room, I gazed upon a chart of all the bones and tendons and such of the foot, and I realized that I know nothing about feet, despite the fact that I have 2 of them. I was going to have to tell the doctor about my pain via grunts and pointing.

But I guess podiatrists are genies. They’re like veterinarians in that they’re accustomed to sussing out a problem with minimal input from the patient. I guess when I barked and started panting hard during the exam, he knew that I had a stress fracture above my third toe.

I got to choose between a big ol’ boot (DAS BOOT!) and a sleeker shoe. Believe it or not, this is the lesser of 2 evils.

Women be buyin’ shoes!

Yes, you’ll be seeing this on all the runways during Fashion Week.

I texted My Guy a pic of The Shoe of Awesomeness and an explanation. His response? “You’ll just have to sit and look cute for 2 weeks!”

That was pretty adorable. But the joke’s on him when he figures out I didn’t go to the grocery store. I’m going to sit and be cute and we’re both going to starve and die. Or I could just go to the grocery since I am allowed to walk a little – but where’s the fun in that? Or maybe I could go to the grocery and drive around in one of the motorized go-karts! And I could put a flashing light on the go-kart and write tickets to people who have zero grocery etiquette and leave their carts in the middle of the aisle and act like they’ve never been to a store before, ever!

So many possibilities. This Shoe of Awesomeness might really be awesome after all. I’ll keep you posted.  

In the meantime, if you need me? I’ll be wrapped in an ace bandage, sporting The Shoe of Awesomeness, and rolling my eyes. Oh, and bringing sexy back. Obviously.

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  • Reply Shannan January 16, 2016 at 12:32 am

    This post made me laugh – a lot. 🙂 Thank you for that! Wishing you speedy healing!

  • Reply Karen (formerly kcinnova) January 16, 2016 at 12:36 am

    Oh, this awesome writing… DAS BOOT! I be wearing it, and it is no fun. You did indeed get the lesser of 2 evils, and I agree that you should just sit and look cute for the next 2 weeks. Look extra cute and helpless, and your guy will shop and cook maybe?

    Sorry about the sympathy pains, but so glad BD is doing well.

  • Reply Cinny January 16, 2016 at 1:47 am

    Oh my. Sitting and looking cute is not a stretch for you, so just do it and enjoy. Plus you should be feeling pretty darn good that your guy suggested it. But sweetie? Be decorating that boot to make it as sassy as you are. Fabric bows perhaps? Bedazzle it? Puff paint? Go for it and I will want to see pictures. Oh – and take it easy so your foot gets better.

  • Reply Suburban Correspondent January 16, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Everyone my age is getting stress fractures in their feet – what's up with that? And am I next? IMHO, you need some cute handknit socks to make that boot look cuter.

  • Reply Green Girl in Wisconsin January 17, 2016 at 12:31 am

    That stinks! I've been seeing a lot of "Dat" boot around my school lately. Weird. And now you!

  • Reply Banjo Unfabulousness January 18, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    I think you could rock the motorized cart at the grocery store….. just imagine the fun you could have!

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