So, I’m home sick today. I’ve been coughing for the better part of five days, and last night I morphed from Normal Cha Cha into Cha Cha the Asthmatic Freak. I spent two hours at the doctor this morning and now have more prescription meds than Lindsey Lohan … although mine were acquired legally.
So, there’s that. I do enjoy breathing. But I’m a little disgruntled.
While enjoying a frosty brew with my brother on his deck Saturday night, I was devoured by giant Iowa mosquitoes. They are cousins of Minnesota mosquitoes, so not quite the size of sanitation trucks. But close.
And now my legs are covered with giant red welts. Itchy, puffy welts. Because I am sexy like that. Wheezy and welty like that.
According to my pal Google, there aren’t any sites like mosquitobitefetish.com. Because if there were, I would probably be able to pay off my mortgage by selling photos of my legs.