I learned something new today.
A bezoar is a mass of indigestible yuck that is found in the digestive tract of animals and humans. It’s made of hair and fiber and gunk.
Basically, it’s a giant hairball that gets stuck in your intestine. Like the gunk that clogs up the pipes in a house. Only it’s in your body. And about a gazillion times more disgusting.
I learned about this at book club tonight, where Alice was telling us about her latest adventures in healthcare lawyering. She has the best stories. Stories that put that weird mole you have – the one with the hairs growing out of it – to shame.
And the lesson about bezoars was fitting, as today I spent $200 getting a new bathtub drain and can trap. Because taking a shower when the tub doesn’t drain is disgusting … although not quite as gross as having an indigestible mass of hair and vegetable fiber in your intestine. Evidently you can’t just drink Draino and make a bezoar go away.
So, I’m having adventures in plumbing. And it occurred to me today that all sorts of things are happening, lo these four weeks post-break-up. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to get The Ex-Boyfriend Formerly Known as Mr. Wonderful caught up.
I wanted to die! And then I met my rebound, Zoloft! And then I got a new TV! And Poochie rearranged all my furniture! And I went to New York!
And I realized today that the sound of your voice is fading from my mind.