Best way to ruin my entire Sunday
Make Rock of Love Bus a rerun. vh1, how could you?
Best way to make a potential beau run screaming
I was at a party last night with Alice and Jake. There was a guy there who was handsome … and who looked really familiar. I couldn’t figure out how I knew him, but I was pretty sure that I did.
Alice was talking to his friend, so I asked I Know You Guy how I know him. His response? “I get that a lot. Who’s your favorite member of the A-Team? Maybe we know each other through the fan club.”
So, I Know You Guy and I chatted it up for several minutes. He was very funny. And then he made a comment about his sister. And I’m all, “Wait a minute. What’s your sister’s name? And what’s her fiance’s name?”
And then, I was all, “I know how we know each other. I used to date The Ex-Boyfriend Formerly Known as Mr. Wonderful.”
I Know You Guy took a giant step away from me. His sister is marrying Ex-Wonderful’s good buddy. He avoided me the rest of the evening.
What’s that bewitching scent I’m wearing? It’s Eau de Ex-Wonderful. Driving men away since 2008.
Best “Yes, this is my life” moment
That would be courtesy of Lil’ Frankfurter. Lil’ Frank, who is still not housetrained. Lil’ Frank, who I caught making a poo this morning on the kitchen floor. I reprimanded him while he was still, uh, you know, doing the doo, and he ran off. He ran off with a piece of poop swinging from his butt. As I held his little seven-pound body over the toilet and wiped his rear, I had a very distinct “So, this is what it means to be an adult” moment. Rock on.