Attempting-to-be-cool-but-kind-of-serious dad to Catholic school uniform-wearing teenage daughter juggling wallet, water bottle, keys and sunglasses: How can you carry all that stuff? You need a pocket. Or a purse. Or a camel.

Husband to brave-to-show-a-bad-junior-high-photo-of-herself wife: Your parents were cruel. Maybe that perm was their way of preventing teenage pregnancy.

And really? That’s all I’ve got tonight. But! Up next? Hard-hitting journalism as Cha Cha reviews the national costumes of the Miss Universe pageant contestants. Don’t miss it!

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