Nine and ohhh!

I have been playing hookie. Huzzah!

My Guy and I traveled to Iowa to surprise my brother for his birthday. Poochie? He was surprised.

And then? We went to the Iowa game.

Now, I have been a Hawkeye fan for my entire life. My parents had season tickets. I have probably seen a dozen games in person. I had not, however, ever seen Iowa actually win.

I have witnessed ties. I saw our star running back Ronnie Harmon break his leg in 1984. I’ve seen heavily favored Hawkeye teams fall to lesser ball clubs. But I figured that an 8-0 Iowa team could readily take care of Indiana. So, My Guy and I bought tickets and made the trek to Iowa City.

In the third quarter, our quarterback threw for four interceptions. And yet? Iowa scored 28 unanswered points in the fourth quarter and won. I can’t describe the game in a way that does it justice, so I won’t try. However, I did have three major takeaways:

1. Until about five minutes left in the game, I thought that my family would disown me. If the Hawks lost because I was at the game and refused to leave? Well, my lovely family would be thankful for the good times we’d shared … and kick me to the curb. I don’t blame them. However, I was thankful that this didn’t come to fruition. Thank God the Cha Cha Football Curse was lifted.

2. It was a chilly, windy day in Iowa City. I was glad to be sporting both my long underwear and SPF 85. Because that’s how I roll. But it was quite obvious looking around the crowd that these are people who are accustomed to cold. While I joke about being a hearty northerner, it’s true. My folk are a hearty people. They were simultaneously very prepared for the 40-degree temps and also completely unfazed by it. Twenty below wind chill? Bring it. They’ll still come to the game.

3. If you’ve ever wondered exactly who is the stupidest human on Earth, I have found her. She and her husband sat behind us at the game. My first hint that something was very, very wrong came when she asked why the game had stopped.

Husband: It’s a TV timeout.
Dumb Lady: So, they can’t play then?


These sorts of questions went on and on. But with 1:37 left in the first half, my stadium neighbor really outdid herself.

Dumb Lady: So, who are we playing again?

At this point, I reached a new low in my life. I began actively hoping that another human being had Alzheimer’s. Because if she has some sort of cognitive issue, my empathy will kick in and I’ll just be glad that she’s out and enjoying the day and taking in the sights and sort of following the festivities. But if not? If she’s just really that dumb?

I have a hard time being gracious around that. Luckily, I was too focused on my beloved Hawkeyes being 9-0 to take the time to thin the herd, if you know what I’m sayin’.

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