Many of you have asked for a doggie update. Just how is my own personal Brady Bunch-style blended family getting along?
If you asked me this yesterday, I would have said that everybody is great. Big Doodle and Lady Doodle are all mellow-like. Foxie Doxie is busy securing the perimeter of our new backyard. And Lil’ Frankfurter? Well, he’s still the devil. But he’s cute.
So, you know, we’re working through it all. Everybody is getting along.
But ask me today how the pups are doing? And I will tell you this:
I have a stress fracture in my foot. This means that I have only four – yes, four – pairs of shoes that don’t cause excruciating pain. Of my extensive shoe collection, I have FOUR pairs of shoes that I can wear. And only three of those pairs are suitable for Corporate Behemoth.
Four pairs of shoes. Got it?
So, this morning, when I was getting ready for work, I noticed something shiny on the floor in front of my closet. And inside my closet.
I figured Lil’ Frank had peed. But no such luck.
Lady Doodle – she of the ginormous bladder – peed in my closet.
Now, we’re afraid she might have a UTI, and we’re taking her to the vet. I am a compassionate person.
However. She peed in my closet. Oceans of pee. And those four pairs of shoes that I can currently wear? One and a half of those pairs are now in the garage, awaiting some sort of dog urine stink purification ceremony. This ceremony might involve being pitched in the trash. But whatever.
My Guy was obviously handling me with kid gloves. “Babe,” he said, “we can totally buy you new shoes. You need shoes.”
This is a kind offer. But it’s the principle of the thing. You just don’t go peeing in a girl’s closet, especially not on a Monday morning. Seriously.