The Guy With No Teeth is the guy who smiles at everyone at the grocery. He’s also the biggest flirt. This would be heartwarming if he wasn’t purchasing Mountain Dew and Pringles as dinner for his 8-year-old.
I was waiting for the elevator at about 5:45 tonight at Corporate Behemoth. The elevator area is an open area, and I heard someone coming up behind me. Way up behind me. It was No Concept of Personal Space Guy. I actually stepped away from him, and he took a step closer. He was busy putting on his jacket, so I tried to be charitable and give him the benefit of the doubt … until he stepped in front of me to get on the elevator first. I guess he was in a hurry to talk to his pal, Guy Who Never Cut the Cloth Tag Off the Sleeve of His Coat, who was in the elevator.
At church on Sunday, I saw Earnest Young Dad carry his toddler daughter away from the communion rail. He gingerly carried her down the steps away from the altar and carefully set her down. He straightened out her pants so that she could walk easier. At the last moment, right before she toddled off, he scooped her up and smelled her behind. Safe in the knowledge that she was still somewhat clean, he walked her back to their pew. And yes, I pretended to be praying as I attempted to control my laughter.