Conversations with my family.

Welcome to an exciting new feature here at Noodleroux. I think the title’s pretty self-explanatory.

The set-up: Cha Cha and Poochie are scraping paint off Cha Cha’s garage and talking about Poochie’s girlfriend.

Poochie: She’s really into organic food and all-natural everything. And I’m totally cool with that, but she has to understand that it’s new to me. That’s just not how our family is.

Cha Cha: Well, I don’t eat a lot of meat. And I buy recycled toilet paper.

Poochie: CHA CHA! That’s disgusting!

Cha Cha: Whaa?

Poochie: Seriously. That’s so gross. I can’t believe you buy that stuff. I mean, c’mon – sure, it’s organic, but how they pull it out of the sewers? And then dry it on those long tables?

Cha Cha: Yeah, but those tables are in the sun. So, it’s, like, solar-powered sanitization.

Poochie: Sure, but you know they totally use child labor because kids have little hands to reach down sewer pipes and their olfactory systems aren’t fully developed.

Cha Cha: Is that true?

Poochie: I don’t know. But then, think of all the labor required to roll the toilet paper onto rolls after it’s dried in the sun. Recycled toilet paper is frail enough that that has to be done by hand, too. You’re causing those poor little kids to hand-roll used toilet paper in the hot sun!

Cha Cha: Hmm. I never thought about it like that.

Poochie: They probably don’t even get sunscreen. You need to think these things through.

Cha Cha: You’re right. I’m sorry.

… beat …

Cha Cha: What do you want for lunch?

Poochie: Barbeque.

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