I came across something awesome today.
Yeah, it’s a dachshund watering can. Cute. Except! The water comes out of the dachshund’s mouth.
People. Come on.
Any accurate dachshund watering can would erratically spray water out of the crotchal region. Why? Because that’s what dachshunds do!
Foxie Doxie? I’m looking at you, you militant jerk.
I know you feel no guilt, because you’re a dachshund, and the give-a-damn was evidently bred out of you. But seriously.
In addition to an accurate dachshund watering can, my future line of honestly designed goods will also include:
- A flowerpot featuring a picture of me, gardening – Only coleus will grow in the pot, but you just go ahead and keep trying other plants, too.
- A series of Ken dolls made to look like various and sundry ex-boyfriends – Anytime Barbie needs anything – a ride to the Dream House, emotional support – the dolls literally disappear.
- A candle in Lil’ Frankfurter’s adorable likeness – Who doesn’t love a tiny miniature dachshund with huge eyes? The candle will be scented with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo and a hint of urine. It will also shed.
What accurately designed goods would you love to see?