Let’s talk about ladybits, shall we?

So, the Supreme Court decided that it’s OK for a “closely held corporation” to decide not to cover birth control in their employer-provided insurance.

On 1 hand, the 3 employees at the perennially understaffed Hobby Lobby in my hood are all over 70. They are also always on break. I’m pretty sure not having birth control covered by their employer isn’t a huge deal.

On the other hand, not all birth control is used for contraception.

Case in point? Me.

Turns out that there are no 2 humans less able to conceive a kid than my husband and I. If you had a word cloud of our skill sets, you’d see all kinds of creative, technical, and cake-based endeavors. However, the term “conception” wouldn’t be anywhere. It would be in the next town over, hiding out in a smoky bar, trying to buy a lucky lady a drink.

But you know who’s on the pill? Me. The Baroness of Barrenness.

I’m a bit reticent to talk about this, because it’s nobody’s damned business. But I guess now the Supreme Court is saying that it is. Thanks, 5 old guys, none of whom own nor operate a uterus. You’re swell!

So, I have some sort of horrible ladyparts curse that makes my lower abdomen hurt. A lot. Maybe it’s polycystic ovarian syndrome. Maybe it’s endometriosis. Who’s to say? Because ladyparts are so mysterious and research is underfunded, literally no one can say without cutting me open to check it out.

Instead, I opted to go on the pill. It keeps the symptoms in check and seems a hellova lot smarter – and cheaper – than exploratory surgery.

Now, I am blessed to have rockstar health insurance through my husband. But what if I didn’t? What if I worked at Hobby Lobby? Would they pay for me to get cut open, but decline to cover medication to make the cutting open unnecessary – all because they don’t believe in contraception?


Stand where you will on today’s ruling. But remember: I’m the woman who needs birth control. I don’t need it to whore around and piss off Jesus. I need it so I can get out of bed and be a productive member of society. And I don’t see where that’s part of your religious freedom.

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  • Reply Green Girl in Wisconsin July 1, 2014 at 12:35 am

    I have all kinds of comments on this topic (which I have spewed, colorfully, to everyone within earshot all afternoon). Outrageous. Total crap. It's a short drive from one "closely held" company (in this case, Hobby Lobby) to another (Koch Industries). It won't end here and it won't end pretty. Infuriating. I don't know how those justices can live with themselves…esp. after their moronic decision on Citizens United. It's probably redundant to add that I'll never, ever shop at HL again.

  • Reply Rainbow Motel July 1, 2014 at 3:57 am

    Amen and AMEN!! These jackwagons see the need for Viagra, but NOT for the pill that prevents conception. They'll pay for cancer surgery, but not for the examination that determines whether I have it or not. I hear you, sister!

  • Reply kelly July 1, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    I'm more concerned about the precedent this sets. Right now it's not providing certain kinds of birth control because of the CEO's religious beliefs. But what if the next CEO is a Christian Scientist and doesn't want to have to pay for anti-anxiety meds. Or bi-polar meds. Or meds for depression. Because, really, you just need to pray harder and Jesus will fix it. Could a CS CEO argue that his company shouldn't be made to offer insurance period because using modern medicine goes against his beliefs?

    Can't wait to see the fallout from this one.

  • Reply Banjo Unfabulousness July 2, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    Wow! All the above comments said it for me. Thanks ladies. This whole thing is just horse shit.

  • Reply Karen (formerly kcinnova) September 15, 2014 at 1:01 am

    Way too late to the comment party here but can I just add a gigantic AMEN!
    My needs are between me and my doctor.

    I'm a crafter who multitasks (meaning, I have waaaaay too many hobbies) but I have not stepped within 30 yards of a Hobby Lobby since this judicial fiasco. It's been several months and I am still spitting mad.

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