In the beginning.

It was Monday, and Cha Cha wore new black dress pants and pink argyle sweater. The peoples bowed before her attempt to brighten a dreary Monday, and it was good.

And then came the plague of meetings, like locusts from the sky did they fall. And Outlook said, “Go, forth!” And Cha Cha did.

Like the people of Moses wandering 40 years in the desert before them, Cha Cha and her peoples sat through a friggin’ three-hour segmentation workshop. Verily unto you, I proclaim that two hours of that was one single PowerPoint presentation.

And like a false god, the black pants and pink argyle failed to save Cha Cha.

But she and her peoples were delivered from the segmentation workshop. Like the parting of the Red Sea, the doors of the meeting room opened. And the peoples rushed to check their 75 new e-mails.

But vengeance would fall upon Cha Cha for worshipping her false idol. And her 75 e-mails all required immediate attention, long after the sun set and the ass and the lamb settled into their mangers. And so it was.

And lo, my friends, this is why today’s post sucks.

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